Change mongocxx::options setters to return a self reference

The return value of a model::replace_one::upsert is a self-reference, allowing for fluid usage:

replace_one& upsert(bool upsert);

While the return value of an options::update is void:

void upsert(bool upsert);

It'd be nice to have the options object also return a self-reference to allow for inline, ephemeral usage where one is only using the options to request an upsert, which would reduce what's now a 3-line call (declare options, set upsert flag, pass to collection::replace_one() to a one-liner (just do it all inline in the collection::replace_one).